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Chaos machzne
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CHAOS MACHZNE One of the most mis-understood, mis-quoted, mis-forgotten and mis-spelled bands to come out of the UK Explaining these few questions the myths, the missing albums, the missing band members and where the money went About the band Del started life in deepest Liverpool and swiftly moved onto an overflowed nowhere place near Manchester in the Northwest of the UK, he was barely educated by a mixture of C of E, Grammer and Private schools, then left to the mercy of the YTS scheme and deadend life in Rumbelows shops. Lucky about the same time as his career sprang forth into a brick wall, his lacking musical skills let go all restraint at decency and he placed an add for band members to moan about the price of beer and fags with while pretending to play 'smoke on the water'. It's true to say that he was less than gifted at this stage, and truer to say he was never really gifted at all, except at being good to point out life’s lesser enjoyable events from a public school boy stereotyped view of being working class. The band was formed by virtue of the only people being willing to turn up, others joined later, by default or mistake, but aways the core three would remain to moan about it all, right the bitter twistered and soggy end. 'Three power cords an metal pick are all you need' was the first printable quote he gave, and true to his word, he'd lied and used a whole host of the bloodily things in a jumbled mess that even punks had problems dancing to. Thus the first few gigs were havoc in micro, lasting two songs into the set was rare and slowly they crawled to halt deciding that maybe they should write songs instead of making them up on the night. Del liked this, he'd been good at stories, lying being his favourite pass time. Their demo tape made in Salford was their first attempt at getting songs down to hear how bad they really where, it was also at this time that there newly self-appointed manager nicked it and sold it to the F**k-U label as the next Sex Pistols, sadly they weren't that bad and the lacking effort called 'Couldn't be bothered' was pulped not that many months after being released. New owners of the label, BRS, saw this as a marketing coup and created a rumour campaign to try and get some money back on the next 'proper' album. Del once said that the band being sent to Mold was a cultural nightmare for the Welsh and tourists alike. But the lack of beer and other things did spur them on to kick the producer, then throw him out, before trying to get some new songs down, with a more willing, if not fearful engineer. The next two albums that followed, did actually have songs that you could listen to and the Chaos sound, such as it was appeared to be worth the effort. Del often moaned about touring to promote the albums, even to the point of reprinting his own tour posters to confuse people and then not turn up. The others were less than keen on this, one of the spare lead guitarists Ged Slacker, who only got paid when they played, complained to the papers that Del couldn't play, couldn't sing and couldn't be bothered. Del tactfully replied with a copy of a UB40 album and a note saying 'get the hint?' The tour album was called 'God we're knacked' which had to be explained in most countries, as in Russia it was printed as 'God we're testicles'. Most of the album was re-duped by session men as 'Chaos live' was more of an experience then a sound to listen to, that is if they bothered to play the songs right in the first place. Del was noted to say at the end of the tour that he hated everyone, everything and mostly he hated McDonalds. In between all of these albums and Del got married and divorced in the same year, with a Child being born called 'DJ Starry' or D for short. Not only was that going on, but they all managed to offend the huge Disney empire by suggesting in a song that Walt must have been on drugs to create such freaky cartoons. A lawsuit and damages later, left the band less than rich, in fact quite poor. Though as they all agreed afterwards how well their manager invested his fees, now living in a Stately Home in Kent, he brought from George Harrison. Del did make some money back selling songs for TV and radio advertising, which he later turned into a career. Knobs now owns half a dozen chip shops and a public house in Manchester, which he's quoted as saying 'my business fore-fills all me needs' and Taz was last seen presenting on a cable shopping channel 'Bargin Bin' in the US. The chances of them getting back together seems unlikely, Del was quoted as saying when last asked 'aren't they al f**king dead yet? The Band members The core band members were always Del - Guitar- Vocals (Delbert John Kevin Llucen) Fav quote "Are you still there?" Taz - Bass - Vocals (Michael Orden Taggart) Fav quote "pass it on.." Knobbs - Drums (Jonathan A. Harold L'Hal) Fav quote "mine's a fuckin anythin" The part-time players were The Band Albums Ged Slacker -lead guitar 'Left-handed Eddie' Tongue - Keyboards (he disappeared half way through the Autoban tour, last confirmed sighting he was driving the 39 bus in Telford) Max R'ause - lead guitar Johno 'bigmac' Gusto - Keyboards Sly 'copsticks' Mygress -lead guitar Wllie 'Jive' Tawker - lead guitar The Albums The following albums were produced mostly the band themselves, for two main reasons, firstly they refused to work with any of those posh gits with degrees telling them what to do and secondly the posh gits with degrees would not work with them either. Thus the Chaos sound such as it is, is whole due to them being let lose in a studio with crates of beer and an engineer, possibly explaining the slurred ending on the second album and the even odder record notes. 'Just couldn't be bothered' (BRS 1981) What yu Want? Fags an Beer mate Barmaid winks Playtime No giro no fun Why bother Lost days The first ever album was not meant to be a record at all, it was recorded on a battered 8 track in the up-stairs room of the Duck and Beagle in Salford. It was meant to be a demo tape, but their manager decided not to waste any more money on them after gaining a contract with BRS Studios on the F**ku label (a hang over from there punk days). It was released as 'Just couldn't be bothered' and strangely enough that was the view of the music press. It disappeared with out trace and all the copies were returned for pulping, anyone lucky enough to own a copy probably hasn't played it. 'We want out' (BRS 1982) I hate this Publand Keep telling those lies Want to ride Lost in the woods Happy little men Tell the time (sing it) Lucky old you Bye bye?.. The Chaos sound truly started when their 2nd album was made. Recorded in deep, dark, dank Mold, in a special building owned by BRS and miles from the nearest public house, the band was forced to write and record in order to gain any freedom, from both their own manager (who stayed at the local Inn) and the BRS Studio suits, who wanted to see a return on their money. It was in February 1982 that 'We want out' was launched on an unsuspecting public. It spawned a minor hit in the form of 'Publand' and the album even made it into the top 100. 'The River Flows' (BRS 1983) Happy returns Love runs dry Somewhere in the city Bubble gum lies Eye games Run me around Storm The River The flow The third album was again recorded in Mold, as the record company was very aware of their loud and very unwanted habits and knew this was the only way they would ever get a follow up out of them. It was worth the effort, the big hit 'Love runs dry' was huge in Euroland and managed to sell the album 'The River Flows' in April 1983 without out much effort at all, the other hit was the epic 'The River' and for the first time the media noticed them, more than that they got to headline a tour rather than being name on the list. The success abroad made the record companies boss at the time David Bumal realize there was a market that actually wanted the band and who cared if they couldn't speak English. 'Autoban' (BRS 1984) Fly me Pt1 Did you see Rainbow dreams What was Disney on Autoban Paris to Berlin The long wall to home The hills and mountains Hope you see the side Fly me Pt2 The forth album in June 1984 'Autoban' was written for the Euro-market and only released some 6 months later in the UK as an afterthought. The title track written by Del who'd never even seen one, and thought an Autobahn was a speeding offence, wrote a really anti-police, money grabbing song, though many foreign critics sited this as just a clever play on words. Apart from the title track two other hits came, namely 'Fly me' and 'What was Disney on?' , the latter causing a law suite against the label and the band was forced to say sorry for suggesting Walt Disney was on drugs. With the band being made to ignore the UK in favour of the money in Europe, the UK media ignored them too. 'Gone mad' (BRS 1985) Locked away Don' t touch me Shoot the Shoot Holiday dream Doctors orders Yellow and green (pink and red) Professional nobody Looking through the window Why did you didn't it *re-issued as 'Love runs dry' with the track added at the beginning of the record. The next record they produced was aptly called 'Gone mad' in March 1985 and the band had already long gone over the edge, took a holiday and decided not yet come back, the tracks on the album reflected this, many consider this the weakest LP released. It however proved to be an even bigger seller, though only one real hit came from it 'Doctors orders' based on a warning Knobs got from his Doctor once being admitted to hospital after a two day drinking competition with himself. Even odder, a mistake by the New York office of BRS released 'Love runs dry' and it made it into the top 50 of the US billboard. The album was hurriedly repackaged and re-issued with that the hit on it to cash in on the success. 'God We're Knackered' (BRS/OUT Of TOWN 1986) Doctors orders Yellow and green (pink and red) Locked away Don' t touch me What yu Want? Publand What was Disney on Autoban Keep telling those lies Want to ride Bubble gum lies Fly me Pt2 Eye games Love runs dry Storm The River The flow The Live double LP was recorded during the long tour and called simply 'God We're Knackered', it was so bad that the band couldn't even tell what they were playing and the whole thing was re-dubbed in the studio by session men, mostly because they couldn't be bothered and also Taz had gone a spiritual trip to his home town of Peeover, but he got lost near Birmingham for three hours and needed a month to recover after discovering the outside world out really existed. The band had got to the stage where they believed their own self penned hype and not the press. 'The Roaring Silence' (BRS 1987) The Roaring Silence Watch the world go by Goodnight sweet prince Fallin down Window of the world Caught in the camera Lights on Came a Christmas tide Take the road (take us home) The sixth album took 18 months to complete by the three remaining core members and was called 'The Roaring Silence', in April 1987. It was a coming of age for them, finally producing a sound they were happy with, alas it was not a sound that struck a chord with their fans, who it seemed preferred the raw edge they had produced on earlier records and not the new smoother style they now found. Having invested heavily, BRS saw sales bomb against bad reviews, not even the fairly good single 'Fallin Down' could halt the knee jerking slide. The remaining band members on seeing how badly their masterpiece was being treated vowed not to record again and wouldn't even do interviews or gigs, they just stopped. 'The Worlds of Chaos' (BRS 1987) As Christmas came a very rushed and cheaply made best of album called 'The Worlds of Chaos' hit the shops faster than a taxman to a deathbed. It wasn't really a meant to be anything more than a cashing in by the Record company having lost so much on 'The Roaring Silence', though the minor hit from the 'Came a Christmas tide' helped alittle. Once it had sold out, no further runs were ever made and last ever Chaos record faded into the history books. None of their works have ever been re-issued and it looks unlikely they ever will be as the Record company and the label have both ceased to be, but we fans live in hope. The Chaos Tours These are the Tours that the lads did over a six year period, it was a hard life on the road, they had started out in the back of a Bedford van being run out of most of the towns in the local Northwest of England and they ended up flying across the world with a stage show hauled in three containers. Most of the later stage gear was so complex, it hardly ever came of the trucks as none of the roadies could be bothered to set it up( it was rumoured that the laser light displays came from NASA). In early experiments to wow the crowds in Germany, they and the road crew set-up flash flares at the front of the stage, unfortunately they were out-door flares and when they were set off not only did they blind the fans, they also managed to burn down the club too. Taz was just alittle too close to them and ended up losing most of his facial hair, which he hoped later would become a new fashion statement. We Want Out Tour 1982 - 1983 Birmingham, UK - Manchester, UK - Newcastle, UK - Leeds, UK - Southend, UK - London, UK - Bath, UK - Coventry, UK - Nottingham, UK - Eindhoven, Holland - Essen, Germany - Wilhelmshaven, Germany - Berlin, Germany - East Berlin, Germany - Amsterdam, Holland - Katjwik, Holland - Lyon, France - Nice, France - Kreutzal Eichen, Germany - Frankfurt, Germany - Koln, Germany - Freiburg, Germany - Heidelberg, Germany - Tuttlingen, Germany - Hamburg, Germany -Werl, Germany The River Tour 1983-1984 Manchester, UK - Newcastle, UK - Leeds, UK - Southend, UK - London, UK - Birmingham, UK - Mold UK - Manchester UK - Luton UK - London UK - Paris, France - Lyon, France - Nice, France - Copenhagen, Denmark - Esbjerg, Denmark - Bergum, Holland - Wertheim - Germany - Berlin, Germany - Koln, Germany - Bad Woerishofen, Germany - Stuttgart, Germany - Freiburg, Germany - Wels, Austria - Hamburg, Germany - Lubeck, Germany - Volkllingen, Germany - Rotterdam, Holland - Helmond, Holland - Katwijk, Holland - Eupen, Belgium - Lille, France - Dortmund, Germany - Hof, Germany - New York, USA -Washington, USA - Toronto, Canada Autoban Tour 1984 Manchester, UK - Leeds, UK - Birmingham, UK - Watford, UK - London, UK - Copenhagen, Denmark - Kortrijk, Belgium - Chaineux, Belgium - Den Hag, Holland - Enschede, Holland - Nijmegen, Holland - Amsterdam, Holland - Brunssum, Holland - Bergum, Holland - Paris, France - Lyon, France - Frankfurt, Germany - Essen, Germany - Hamburg, Germany - Osnabruck, Germany - Gammelsdorf, Germany - Freiburg, Germany - Wenen, Austria - Wels, Austria - Craz, Austria Gone Mad Tour (God We're Knackered) 1985 - 1986 London, UK - Leeds, UK - Birmingham, UK - Manchester, UK - Nottingham, UK - Preston, UK - Chester, UK - Den Bosch, Holland - Bremen, Germany - Arhus, Denmark -Copenhagen, Denmark - Berlin, Germany - Hamburg, Germany - Freiburg, Germany - Dudingen, Switzerland - Pratteln, Switzerland - Sion, Switzerland - Dudingen, Switzerland - Wels, Austria - Vienna, Austria - Munich, Germany - Stuttgart, Germany - Soundershousen, Germany - Frankfurt, Germany - Helmond, Holland - Katwijk, Holland - Enschede, Holland - Gent, Belgium - Karlsruhe, Germany - Paris, France - Rotterdam, Holland - Essen, Germany - Enschede, Holland - Vosselaar, Belgium - Saafeld, Germany - Heidelberg, Germany - Wubluana, Slovakia - Budapest, Hungary - Torino, Italy - Rome,Italy - Hamgurg, Germany - Barcelona, Spain - New York, USA - Washington, USA - Boston, USA - L A, USA The Roaring Silence Promotional Tour 1987 New York, USA -L A, USA -Hamburg, Germany - Rome, Italy -Paris, France - Vienna, Austria - Munich, Germany - London, UK - Manchester, UK The Final tour ended with a bang, after the sales for Roaring Silence dived and critics spat, the Band quit the promo tour and pulled out of all public appearances. They never issued a statement to say they had split, but they haven't worked together since.
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